


Just For Now

by chiakuro



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-28 18:23:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19399816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiakuro/pseuds/chiakuro
Summary: Graduating was difficult for Kuro. Having his only source of structure yanked out from underneath him left him feeling lost. Not only lost, but alone.How was he supposed to function with nobody looking to him for help?





	Just For Now

Kuro's life was always hardest when he was being ignored by his sister.

As a fresh highschool graduate, Kuro hadn't yet found out how to fill the gigantic gap that his newfound lack of responsibility and direction had left him with. He was in his bed watching TV, the same thing he's been doing for the past two or so weeks. It was 5pm. He hadn't eaten yet, but he hadn't been awake for long, either. He was seriously considering just going back to sleep.

He put down his phone and closed his eyes, the program he had on grabbing so little of his attention he didn't even have to turn it down. He laid there, but sleep didn't come for him. He closed his eyes tighter and tighter to no avail.

He had definitely been bored enough to pass out from lack of stimulation. Yet instead of his boredom driving him to sleep it had plagued him with a nagging feeling in the back of his head. It had to have been the biggest roadblock, even when he took into consideration the excessive amount of sleep he’d been getting. He was sick of thinking. His brain was scrambling to try and come up with something better he could be doing with his time. It went through plan after plan of how he could appease his sister so she would let him care for her since it’s the only way he can think to trick himself into caring for himself. It’d be nice, even, if he could just hold a conversation with her, hear about how her day went and what plans she had for herself, because maybe he could scrounge ideas for himself up from a girl in middle school. Where his head went when he shifted gears wasn’t pleasant, either, with it dredging up memories he made only months ago and pouring over it the fondest nostalgia.

He had a very desperate need to leave the house. His bedroom, even.

Getting out of bed was a good start.

He jumped out of his bed, walked down the hall and into the bathroom where he hopped in the shower. He managed to clean himself entirely within a few minutes, but he didn’t get out right after he finished. He stood in the stream of the warm, comforting water where he was soon smothered again by insecurities.

He thought about his complete lack of self direction, he worried about all the people who depended on him that he had to leave behind just so he could rot alone in his bedroom. He was completely stuck on the thought that his only worth was what he could do to help others, and if he wasn't of use to someone else there was no reason for him to be on earth. He was burdened with the unending guilt of the concept of living for himself.

Kuro sighed to himself. He had already ran through the same thoughts a thousand times.

He turned the water off.

Kuro meticulously blow-dried and styled his hair after getting out, something he hadn't had the motivation to do lately, because he figured it would be a nice way to reignite some self-love. He waltzed back to his room soaking wet and barely covered hoping no one would pop out of their rooms to scream in horror at his toweled physique. He got in his room and closed the door behind him before his eyes darted over to where his phone was lying on the bed. His gaze lingered for a moment before he flopped down on his bed to grab it, despite knowing that he was going to get all his shit wet and it would take forever for him to get back up and get dressed. The consequences didn’t matter. There was something far more important on his hands.

He had an unread text message. A text from the guy he's had a crush on since they were sixteen years old.

It had been awhile since they spoke to each other. They exchanged short strings of texts a few times, but Kuro could never find the courage to press for their conversations to keep going. Taking up Chiaki's time made him feel guilty. Greedy, perhaps, because of how much he enjoyed every bit of contact they had with each other. Somewhere along the line he managed to convince himself Chiaki couldn't possibly enjoy time with him as much as he did. He felt like just another face in the crowd Chiaki would stop seeing after their time at school ended.

Was that just a facet of unrequited love?

Unrequited ー it felt odd to him to put it so simply, but he'd accepted a long time ago he didn't have a chance with him. Chiaki always had so much more going on than Kuro. He has heaps of people who love him and a laugh to convince anybody that didn't love him to fall back in line with the rest, and even if he was the only man in the running for his love it wouldn't change the fact that Chiaki didn't like him back, because Chiaki wasn't gay.

A dense swarm of butterflies settled in his stomach while he stared pensively at the notification. His eyes traced through every stroke in Chiaki's name, as if he had to convince himself it was really Chiaki texting him. The text was short enough where he already read the entirety of it from his home screen, just a casual conversation starter, akin to “hey, what's up, how're you doing, etcetera, etcetera”, but his hands were frozen in place and his nerves were on fire.

Kuro was still in love with him.

He rubbed his eyes and ran his hands over his face before finally unlocking his phone to type a response. Despite the delay, Chiaki’s response to his response came a mere moment later and their conversation kicked off. After a few minutes of back-and-forth, Chiaki sent a message Kuro couldn’t have expected. His heart gently pounded.

_ “Is it okay if I call you?” _ Chiaki’s text read.

It took longer than it should’ve to draft an affirmative reply that didn’t sound desperate, but Chiaki wasted no time initiating a phone call.

“Hello! Can you hear me?” Chiaki’s voice blasted through Kuro’s speaker.

“Yeah,” Kuro started, trying to calm down enough to sound cool.

“Ah, Kiryu, it's been way too long since I’ve heard your voice! I hope you don’t mind me calling so suddenly. I really, really missed you.”

“No, I don’t mind at all. I missed hearing your voice like crazy.”

“Hah, then the feeling is mutual! Isn’t it so beautiful when people bond?”

Kuro smiled. He and Chiaki had a long, proper catching up of the few months they hadn’t seen each other. This, unfortunately, meant Kuro had been laying wet and naked on his bed for over an hour, but he wasn’t worried about it. Talking to Chiaki made him feel like he was melting in the most pleasant way imaginable, with all his doubts and anxieties separating from him in the melting pot.

“Yeah, it’s so crazy, though,” Chiaki started. “I’ve lived here for almost an entire month and I haven’t even met my roommate. He just hasn’t shown up!”

“Isn’t that kind of a good thing, though? You get the whole place to yourself.”

“I guess that’s true, I’ve never been alone at home for more than a week so it has been kind of awesome. But if he’s bailed completely, then I have to pay the bills myself. I can do it this month, but next month…? Yikes. So I hope he shows up.”

“Sounds like you got scammed to me. It’s a crazy scam to make, though. Dunno what he gets out of it.”

“Oh, his motive would probably be getting the hundred dollars I gave him for moving fees.”

Kuro covered his face with one hand and laughed. “You did not give him one hundred dollars.”

“Don’t laugh! Was I supposed to stand there and not give him money when he needed help?”

“Yeah.”

Chiaki groaned. “I wish I could smack you over the phone!”

“Don’t get all indignant. Can’t be that hard to find someone that actually intends to live with you.”

“You’re right, I should give up on this guy and start looking. I know I just said having the house to myself is great, but I’m getting super lonely holed up in here. It feels like it’s been forever since I got to talk to someone like this.”

Kuro felt his heart beat a little harder. He rolled over on his side. “I know what you mean.”

“I’m not good at this whole “taking care of myself” thing either.” Chiaki laughed. “I haven’t even eaten anything today. I just haven’t been able to do it.”

“You aren’t eating? Tell me that’s a joke.”

“No, I’m serious. I’m completely helpless!”

Kuro sat up in his bed and got ready to jump off it. “I can’t sit here and listen to this crap. Do you have any idea how important getting enough food and water is for your body? You need to eat.”

Chiaki stammered. “No, I mean, it’s okay? You don’t have to be worried, I just remembered I actually did eat a cup of instant ramen for breakfast, so everything’s fine!”

“Text me your address. I’m coming over.”

“Kiryu, I’ll eat something, you don’t have to do this, really!”

“The only way I’m not coming over is if I’m not allowed in your house. Am I allowed in your house?”

“Mmnn…” Chiaki paused. “You’re always allowed in my house.”

Kuro got off his bed and started picking out clothes. He slid on a pair of underwear and some pants before he picked his phone back up and wedged it awkwardly between his face and shoulder. “Whatcha got in your fridge?”

“Hold on a second,” Chiaki said. There was silence on his end for a minute before Kuro heard the sound of what he assumed to be his refrigerator door opening. “I’ve got sports drinks, and, uhh…” He heard another door open. “Ice cubes?”

“So it’s a bring your own ingredients kinda thing.”

Chiaki laughed. “Sorry. You really, really don’t have to do this for me.”

“No, I insist. Not gonna be able to sleep tonight knowin’ you’re neglecting yourself like that.” Kuro set his phone down and pulled a t-shirt over his head. He motioned to pick his phone back up, pausing with his hand loosely grasping it before he stopped in his tracks. Gears turned in his head audibly for a moment before he brought his phone back to his ear and hoped Chiaki hadn’t said anything important. “Y’know, since it’s gonna be pretty late by the time I finish up there ‘nd you’re holed up in there all alone… What’dyou say to me stayin’ the night? I can make us breakfast tomorrow, too.”

Chiaki gasped. “You’re proposing we have a sleepover?!”

“I guess it  _ would _ be a sleepover.”

"As long as it's convenient to you, it sounds amazing!"

Their phone call lasted only a few minutes longer before Kuro hung. He took Chiaki’s dietary infractions very seriously despite the fact that he himself was guilty of the same crime. The fact that he was experiencing it all himself could potentially be why he took it so personally. After all, if he cooked Chiaki food, he ate food. He finally had the opportunity to slip back into the role of a caregiver, so he got up to go to the kitchen to pilfer enough ingredients for two meals. He had to make two meals for two people, which meant he was going to prepare dinner for two, which, when he thought of it that way, made it sound kind of like he had just strong-armed his way into a date.

Kuro rolled his eyes at himself. He’d only been off the phone for a few minutes before his head was taken over by fantasies of romance and the butterflies that seemed to live in his stomach woke up from their collective naps. He would never understand why the mere thought of Chiaki sent his heart rate through the roof while his presence made him feel calmer than anything else.

Flustered, Kuro stopped thinking about what exactly he would cook and settled for grabbing whatever he could throw together to make a balanced meal. Once he got to picking out vegetables he started to hear footsteps, the sound starting from down the hall and ending right behind him. He turned around.

It was his sister, which was convenient. Kuro intended to tell her he would be gone until tomorrow and he seemed to have a good chance to avoid pissing her off if she started the conversation rather than him.

“What’s up?” Kuro asked. “You eat somethin’ yet?”

“I’m fine. What are you doing?” She asked.

“Uhh, I’m gettin’ together some food. I’m planning to go over and cook at my friend’s house.”

Kuro’s sister squinted. “Oookay then. Don’t understand why he doesn’t have his own food, but whatever. None of my business.”

“I know I've got no place to be sayin' this about other people, but he's kind of dumb. I’ll be at his place overnight. Do you need anything before I go? Like, you’re sure you had a proper dinner?”

“No, don’t you dare let me stop you from leaving! You need to get out of the house as soon as possible. You’re driving me crazy.”

Kuro chuckled. “You’re very subtle. I’ll be out of your hair before you know it.”

“I’m not being mean or nothin’.” Kuro’s sister turned around and started in the direction she came from. “I just think this should be good for you. And me. Mostly you.”

“Thanks. I’ll make sure I’m done in time to pick you up tomorrow.”

Kuro’s sister made a vague waving motion as she walked away. Kuro’s attention went back to bagging up what ingredients he had already scrounged up. Putting away what he got for breakfast made him realize he should bring something to sleep in, so he ducked back in his room to grab a pair of pajama pants before he left.

His commute by foot was unexpectedly short, leaving him at Chiaki’s doorstep half an hour later. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, and it swung open within seconds.

“Kiryu!” Chiaki exclaimed.

“Hey,” Kuro said. “Were you waiting by the door or somethin’?”

“Yes. Yes, I was waiting by the door. Come in, come in!” Chiaki pulled Kuro into a hug. “Come bring it all in!”

“Hey, I haven’t even sat my bag down yet,” Kuro said, smiling uncontrollably.

“I don’t care! I really couldn’t care less. I want a hug!”

Kuro set his bag down. “Two can play that game.” He wrapped his arms around Chiaki, lifting him about a foot off the ground. Chiaki let out an uproar of laughter and squeezed Kuro hard enough to steal every bit of air from his lungs, forcing Kuro to set him back down.

"Come inside, now! You’ve got to see my place,” Chiaki said.

Kuro did as he was told before he was even able to catch his breath. Chiaki’s apartment was relatively small, small enough for the kitchen and living room to feel like they were one big multi-purpose room rather than two separate rooms. There was still a plethora of boxes, presumably of Chiaki’s belongings, stacked around the area which helped in making it feel cramped.

“My room’s over through there, and so is the bathroom, if you happen to feel nature call,” Chiaki said as he pointed over at a short hallway cut through the center of the back of the main living space.

“It’s not a bad lookin’ place. Figure you should be able to get somebody in here pretty easy,” Kuro said.

“Yeah, but, we talked enough about that! What’s for dinner? I’m really, really excited for this.”

“Oh, uhh,” Kuro looked down at his bag of ingredients. “I didn’t really plan anything in particular. Just grabbed shit, really. Hope eating steak with some vegetables sounds good to you.”

“Steak?! Ohh, you shouldn’t have! I’m really fired up now, it’s been awhile since I’ve had something so nice and filling.”

Kuro shook his head. “Don’t remind me. I gotta get started right away.”

They moved their conversation to the kitchen and Kuro started on dinner. He figured the fastest way to get the food cooked and into Chiaki’s big mouth was to pan-fry the steak and steam the variety of vegetables he grabbed.

Kuro glanced around the kitchen. “Okay, first thing’s first, I need a frying pan and a pot. Where d’you got ‘em?”

Chiaki furrowed his brows and looked away. “Uhh…”

“Please tell me you’ve got pots and pans.”

“No, I think I do! My parents made a big thing about how important it was for me to have all the kitchen essentials, so they didn’t let me leave without at least one of each, but… I don’t know which box they’re in. I have to find where they put them, but it shouldn’t take long.”

“I’ll be waiting. It’d be weird for me to rifle through your stuff.”

Chiaki smiled awkwardly and excused himself to dig through the piles of boxes. Kuro tried to distract himself while he waited at first, but after putting away the perishables he brought and confirming the fridge contained exactly as much as he was told it did he found himself watching Chiaki search for the right box. He caught glimpses of all the things Chiaki found important enough to make the move with him. There were only a few things he recognized up until Chiaki opened the flaps of a box chock-full of outfits he had personally sewn for him, and Kuro found his heart jumping up his throat seeing how carefully they had been stored and the care Chiaki took in handling the box gently after seeing its contents. He recalled vivid memories of all the times Chiaki came to him with a design rendered in the most passionate chicken scratch he had ever seen and the look of sheer gratitude he was given when he managed to bring it to life for him. Kuro looked away right after Chiaki opened a second box filled with the same.

“Aha, there you are!” Chiaki shouted a few minutes later. He ran over to Kuro’s side with a pot and pan in each hand and Kuro started on their dinner after giving them a quick wash. Chiaki stood by Kuro’s side the whole time he was cooking, which was both considerate and annoying considering how little space there had been to work with. Kuro’s appreciation of his attention far outweighed his annoyance, but he felt awkward thinking Chiaki was just there because he felt obligated to be there.

“You can go do something else if you want. I don’t wanna keep you here just ‘cuz,” Kuro said.

“No, I’d rather stay here with you. I really can’t thank you enough for any of this, so I’m hoping some quality time together will be nice,” Chiaki said.

“It is nice. Been awhile since I’ve gotten to hang out with someone.”

“You too, huh? To be completely honest, I haven’t had anyone over here but my parents.”

Kuro blinked. “That’s surprising. I thought for sure there’d be too many people in line waiting for their turn to spend time with you for me to squeeze in your schedule. You haven’t even found a girlfriend by now?”

“No, nothing like that… I’m as single as ever.”

“Just a hunch, but that might be ‘cuz you tell everybody you meet not to fall in love with you.”

Chiaki looked at the ground. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really, really sorry.”

Kuro looked at Chiaki with an awkward smile. “It’s fine. You’ve already apologized for that a thousand times.”

“I can’t blame you for holding onto it… I was insanely insensitive about it.” Chiaki scratched at his face. “But, like I said earlier, I’ve been lonely here. It’s kinda dumb, but, I’ve been too embarrassed at how bad I’m doing at this adult stuff to let anyone come over.”

“I don’t think anybody else is doin’ much better. Or I guess I just hope they aren’t, since I’m going through the same. I'm always gonna be here if you need somebody, though.”

"I know. It's always been that way, right?"

"It's because I love you."

Chiaki grinned and patted Kuro on the back. "And I love you, too!"

Kuro smiled. Chiaki was still the same Chiaki he usually was. He went back to watching Kuro cook without adding his own commentary. Kuro felt a little guilty for bringing up something that happened so long ago. It was a slip of the tongue, really. Something he hadn’t really meant to say aloud. The silence they were left with made Kuro reminisce further.

When Kuro and Chiaki were both sixteen, they had spent enough time together where Kuro decided he could trust him with his biggest secret. He was going to come out to him. He hadn’t accepted he was gay until less than a year before, and at the time he had only told one person about it.

He called Chiaki to class after it had been let out and sat across from him at a random desk. He put it in the simplest words he could, and Chiaki responded with complete support as he had hoped for. What surprised him was what Chiaki said to him after a few more minutes of banter.

“Just promise not to fall in love with me,” Chiaki had said with a laugh. The words sunk in Kuro’s stomach like a brick.

The only reason he came out to Chiaki was the fact that he had already developed a crush on him. He thought it would be far safer to test the waters that way than to just tell him. Chiaki apologized immediately after when it made Kuro go quiet, but it had already destroyed any hopes he had of them being a thing. He found it hard not to remember it when they were close to each other, even though he knew how bad it made Chiaki feel.

Kuro looked over to the other room when the food was almost done. The living room was mostly bare with only two somewhat uncomfortable looking chairs huddled around an unnecessarily large coffee table adorned with several empty glasses. “Makes me sad to see you don’t got a TV here. I woulda figured you’d have gotten one before anything else,” Kuro said.

“Hmm? Of course I made sure I had a TV before anything else. I put it in my room, though,” Chiaki said.

“Well, this should be done in a minute or so. You wanna eat at your fancy dining table over there or in front of the TV?”

“Don’t tease me! My parents gave me that.” Chiaki looked embarrassed. “We can eat in my room if you’re fine with sitting on my bed.”

Kuro plated their food and they went off to Chiaki’s room. It was a bit bigger than Kuro expected it to be considering the size of the living room, but the first thing he noticed when he walked in was the giant TV that took up half the wall it was seated in front of. “Jesus Christ, Morisawa,” he said as he sat down on Chiaki’s futon that was placed less than five feet away from the TV. “I can’t believe I doubted you for a second. That thing’s fuckin’ huge.”

“I know, I know!” Chiaki exclaimed as he settled down right next to Kuro. “It took me awhile to budget for it, but it was so worth it. Everything looks so good on it it makes me feel like I’m really there!”

“This really spells out why you need glasses. I can’t imagine how close you sat to the TV as a kid.”

Chiaki punched Kuro’s arm and Kuro laughed in response. Neither of them wasted any more time before they stuffed their faces. Kuro gnawed on his food like a wild animal and the rich flavor of the meat made him wish he had brought some rice with him. He didn’t see any easy way he could’ve cooked it with Chiaki’s limited cooking supplies, though. His eyes wandered through the bedroom between bites. He noted that while there were no posters on the walls yet, Chiaki had still managed to set-up a small display case by the TV for his favorite figures.

A glance to his left showed an averaged sized fan and a closet. The door to the closet was open, revealing that it was completely bare. It didn’t even have any bags or boxes of clothes in it. In fact, Chiaki’s entire room was devoid of moving boxes. When Kuro thought about it it made sense to leave everything in the living room instead, but he couldn’t help but wonder if Chiaki intended to hang his costumes up in the closet along with his regular clothes. That was probably where he had kept them before, but Kuro never considered invading Chiaki’s closet before so all he had was his own baseless assumptions.

“Kiryu, you’re looking kind of warm,” Chiaki said in the middle of chewing his food. “Do you need me to turn the fan on?”

Kuro cringed. “Uhh, yeah. It’s getting hot in here,” he said.

Chiaki smiled before getting up to switch on the fan. “Don’t be afraid to let me know when you’re not comfortable! I want your stay at my place to be as comfortable as it can be, even if it’s a bit of a work in progress.”

Kuro tried as hard as he could to avoid having any other fluffy thoughts until he was at least done eating. After they were both finished Kuro washed the dishes he dirtied and changed into his spare pants in the bathroom before coming back to Chiaki’s bedroom.

“Ohh, pajamas! It really feels like we’re having a sleepover now,” Chiaki said.

“Dunno how late we’ll be up, but I figured there was no reason not to change now,” Kuro said. “I washed all the dishes, too, so don’t worry about those.”

“Why’d you do that? I can’t let you go so far out of your way to cook me an amazing meal and then make you wash my dishes for me! I’m seriously showing the opposite of good hospitality right now.”

Kuro laughed. “That’s why I didn’t tell you I was gonna do it beforehand.”

Chiaki bowed and thanked Kuro for the hundredth time before he ran off to change his own clothes. After Chiaki came back they sat around doing nothing together for what had to have been hours. Kuro hadn’t been keeping track of the time. It had been a few weeks since he really paid the time any mind at all, seeing as it hardly mattered what time of day it was when he had nothing to be responsible for. The only way he could really tell how long it’d been was the yawn Chiaki let out.

Kuro looked at Chiaki. “You tired?” He asked.

“I guess so,” Chiaki replied. He checked his phone. “It is really late.”

“If sleep’s callin’ you, you should go to bed.”

“I don’t want to. I’m enjoying this way too much to let it stop here.”

Kuro chuckled. “We aren’t even doing anything.”

“I know, but…” Chiaki closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall. “I just like being with you! I don’t think that’s weird.”

“I understand completely. Rest is important, though.” Kuro blinked. “Actually, you can’t go to bed ‘til we figure out where I’m sleeping. You got an extra futon or something?”

“About that… I’ve only got this one.”

“Okay, I can sleep on the floor if you give me a blanket.”

“You can do that if you want! My blanket’s pretty thick, so it should be fine like that. But, I was thinking that if you didn’t have a problem with it… You could just sleep on my bed.”

Kuro furrowed his brows. “…So you would sleep on the floor?”

“No, I thought it would be okay if we shared it. I…” Chiaki glanced quickly in Kuro’s direction. “We still have plenty of time to figure it out. I’m not going to sleep yet.”

Kuro’s heart thumped in his chest at the mere thought of going to sleep in Chiaki’s bed. He found it hard to even imagine sleeping right beside him. The possibility burned inside of his brain and the heat made its way to the rest of his body. “Can you turn up the fan?”

“Yes, of course!” Chiaki got up and Kuro let himself fall back against the wall with a thunk.

He hated that he was going to let Chiaki’s generosity leave him embarrassed for the rest of the night, but no matter how he imagined it happening it left him praying that the insane warmth he was filling up with wasn’t showing itself on his face. Chiaki didn’t seem bothered, but his attention started to stray from the TV. Kuro found it odd.

It was almost impossible not to look at it when it took up so much of the room, proven by the fact that it kept grabbing Kuro’s attention, and yet the one who always found it easiest to fixate on it was looking away.

Kuro grabbed the remote and muted the TV. “You’re obviously tired. We should call it a night,” he said.

Chiaki stared blankly ahead. “I’m not tired,” he insisted.

“No, I know something’s up when you stop watchin’ your shows.” Kuro slung his arm around Chiaki’s shoulder and settled his chin on the top of Chiaki’s head. “We gotta get you to bed.”

Chiaki chuckled underneath him, which Kuro couldn’t help but smile at.

“Come on, don’t fight it.” Kuro got up and kneeled directly in front of Chiaki. “You’ve…”

Tears. Now that he got a good look at him, he could clearly see there were tears on Chiaki’s face. Kuro realized how uncharacteristic it would’ve been for Chiaki to chuckle so lightly.

“Morisawa? What’s wrong?”

Chiaki covered his face with one hand. “Nothing! I’m fine. I’m sorry,” he said, his voice betraying his words immediately.

Kuro put a hand around Chiaki’s back and tried to move the hand he had in front of his face. He didn’t have to use much force. “No, I’m sorry. Can’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I’m…” Chiaki sniffled and grabbed Kuro’s hand with his own. “If I sleep, you’ll leave a little after, and when you leave, I'm gonna be alone again.”

Kuro separated their hands and wrapped his other arm around Chiaki, adjusting himself into a hug. “You’ll always have me, though.”

Chiaki hugged Kuro back, resting his face on his shoulder. “I’ve been so lonely. I don’t know how it happened. I feel like I can't take it anymore,” he said, his voice muffled against Kuro’s shirt.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”

“Don’t apologize, you couldn’t have known. I really shouldn’t ask you for more favors, but,” Chiaki pulled Kuro backwards as he scooted himself onto his bed. “Can you hold me? Please.”

Kuro’s heart beat even faster than it had earlier as he crawled into bed, his shirt gross and wet, and adjusted himself to fit Chiaki in his arms. He breathed steadily as he rubbed Chiaki’s back in an attempt to be reassuring. “I want you to depend on me as much as you have to,” Kuro said. He hoped he wouldn’t regret being so genuine and open when he woke up tomorrow.

His remark made Chiaki cry harder. What was so unnerving to him was how even though he could tell just how hard he was crying through the mess he was making on his shirt and the way his body moved, he could hardly hear him at all. His voice hadn't even sounded different after his initial outburst. Chiaki sobbed onto Kuro’s chest for a few minutes longer before his tears started to come slower, before they seemed to stopped entirely. Even after he was done, they laid with their arms around each other. The way they were laying on each others arms wasn’t exactly comfortable, but Kuro couldn’t find it in him to move or even speak until the grip Chiaki had on him softened. He waited a few minutes just to be safe.

“You still awake?” Kuro whispered.

Chiaki didn’t respond. Kuro took a deep, shaky breath. His crush just fell asleep in his arms, but he wasn’t tired at all. His brain was finally catching up to what just happened and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Excess physical affection wasn’t unusual with Chiaki, but this was a level of affection beyond what he’d ever been given before. By anyone. Kuro would forever have the memory of Chiaki literally begging him to hold him until he cried himself to sleep. Could being by himself in his apartment for so long actually make him this desperate for affection, or did something change in Chiaki? Did all the times they told each other “I love you” finally catch up?

Kuro was forced away from his thoughts when Chiaki let go of him and turned on his other side in his sleep. Kuro closed the gap between them, wrapping one arm around Chiaki and curling the other up in between them.

For the moment, this was more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> this is something i wrote as a break from a much larger story im trying to tackle.. i hoped it would be a nice change of pace. 
> 
> if you liked this, kudos & comments should do wonders to motivate me to write more
> 
> thanks for reading!


End file.
